Our congregation is shopping for a new church database system. To our shock, two companies refuse to do business with us because they "do not condone" gay relationships or same-sex couples or families. Here is my response to them.
August 18, 2012
Beloved
Members of the Body of Christ who serve on the staff of Church Community
Builder and Elexio,
One
week ago, I was privileged to conduct a wedding in our church for two wonderful
people who have been in a committed relationship for 18 years. God’s love shines forth in their lives. They both have good jobs in health care and
serve people each day. They are caring,
compassionate, faithful, joyful Christian people with a fantastic sense of
humor. They wrote their own vows and
designed their own rings, and they told me their wedding day was the best day
of their lives.
Their names are Karen and Carla, and
it just so happens that they are both women. You can call them gay or lesbian or a same-sex
couple. But Jesus wouldn’t call them
that. Jesus would call them children of
God, disciples in faith, members of the Church.
Like me, they are part of the body of Christ.
A few months ago, I was privileged
to baptize a baby named Kai, born to a couple who have been married for five
years. One of Kai’s parents is an
associate pastor on our church staff.
Kai’s mother works for Oprah Winfrey.
Kai’s parents are warm, giving, intelligent, talented, amazing Christian
people who have traveled around the world.
Their names are Leah and Chris, and it just so happens they are both
women. You can call them gay or lesbian
or a same-sex couple, but Jesus wouldn’t.
Like me, they are part of the body of Christ.
Twenty-five years ago, I
participated in the ordination of one of my seminary classmates. Jeffrey was brilliant, pastoral, gifted and
called by God to serve as a minister. He
also happened to be gay. But Jesus
wouldn’t call him that. Jesus would say
he was an outstanding pastor and teacher of the church, a good shepherd to his
flock, and an inspiring spiritual leader.
Like me, he was part of the body of Christ.
I have a dream that someday people
of faith will be judged not by their
sexual orientation, but by the content of their character. I have a dream that someday all people will
be welcomed as equal members of the body of Christ, not judged as lesser in
value or excluded from membership. As
the Apostle Paul said, “There are many members, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no
need of you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’” (Romans 12:20-21)
Many of our gay, lesbian, bisexual
and transgendered friends are baptized believers. The Holy Spirit has given them gifts which
they use in leadership and service. They
celebrate the sacrament of communion at Christ’s table. They read and interpret God’s holy Word. They pray and they tithe.
You too are members of the body of
Christ. Yet your company has told our
church staff that we may not purchase your church database system because some
of our members live in households where partners happen to be of the same
gender. With the love of Christ filling
my mind, heart and spirit, I must say to you that this is deeply painful for
all of us at First United Church of Oak Park.
It is painful for two reasons.
First,
I am grieved that you would judge my sisters and brothers in faith as
unacceptable or unfit to serve Christ’s ministry and mission without witnessing
the blessedness of their lives. If only
you could see the love in their relationships, in their families, among their
children and the incredible leadership they provide in the church.
Second,
I am saddened that you are deprived of coming to know these sisters and
brothers as friends and neighbors, fellow workers for the kingdom and witnesses
to the gospel. You would find your life
enriched and deepened.
The
product you sell is designed to build relationships and to grow the
church. I cannot be silent as you refuse
to provide service to our congregation, and I cannot condone your use of
“homosexuality” as a sin that you compare with “bestiality, witchcraft and
necrophilia.” Jesus never excluded
anyone, though his radical grace was shocking to many. Your refusal to serve our church does not
reflect the love of Christ, it does not build relationships and it will not
grow the church.
Please
reconsider your position on this issue.
Your sister in Christ and
member of the body of Christ,Rev. Dr. Julie R. Harley
Lead Pastor
WAY TO GO Julie. Don't just let it sit there. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI, too, have encountered this. We were members of a church that was considering a major project to build an addition to or replace our building. When they learned we were considering becoming Open and Affirming, a major church building architect/contracting company ended discussions with us.
ReplyDeleteJesus broke rules of ritual cleanliness to minister with people the religious leaders of the time might not. Yet today modern ritual cleanliness is being applied not only to contact between actual people, but also products and services. I pray that those who claim Jesus as their savior, teacher, and/or leader would think carefully before building a wall between themselves and people they have deemed unclean, unwanted, or unworthy.
Indeed, Cindi, one of the most attractive things about Jesus was that he scorned the self-righteous religious, and was attracted to the "ritually unclean" of his day. But it's also important to note that he was not content to leave them where they were, either physically or spiritually. They came to him knowing that they had problems. Jesus healed the sick AND also pronounced their sins clean because of their faith--in Christ, not just his healing power. Jesus forgave a prostitute because of her faith in him (Luke 7). The woman at the well (John 4) was promiscuous, and was beginning to believe Jesus' claim to be a unique Messiah.
DeleteJesus didn't encourage any of these people to continue in what they knew to be their presenting problems--prostitution or promiscuity or fraud (tax collectors). In fact he often said, "go and sin no more." The thread running through these peoples' faith was that they saw in Jesus not merely a good teacher or a moral compass, or someone who kindly grinned at their sin, but they saw God himself and, as such, a unique way to God.
Awestruck with the pastor's urgent and delicate response; I'm encouraged that one day we will all be free. We can still disagree in love and still urge our less-loving and non-accepting brothers and sisters to reconsider. It's what Christ would do.
ReplyDeletewell said Julie! Mark W. Wendorf
ReplyDeleteAre you needing just a database to maintain membership records or are you needing something more involved like connecting your database to a website? Simple databases and mailing lists are not difficult to create. Something like an interactive website is a very different story but I may know someone who can and possibly will provide that sort of thing for you. They are pricey but good at what they do and they are a little more liberal minded than most. Contact me at gdklein@att.net.
ReplyDeleteDear Rev. Dr. Harley,
ReplyDeleteThank you for risking your own reputation by displaying the actions which God's Word describes as the desired behavior of those who are followers of Christ Jesus. As a 20+ year member of the body of Christ at Metropolitan Community Church of Louisville, Ky., and one who has been seeking better ways to be like Jesus since I was a teen, it is refreshing when someone publicly declares their love for ALL of God's children. I will use your example, and others like it, as a tool for my own continued journey of personal growth toward understanding and acceptance (which, I am ashamed to say, has been long, tedious, and sometimes rather ugly). Keep up your wonderful ministry!! So many out there still feel unloved.
Blessings,
Leslie P. Hendrix, C.O.G., Mother, Grandmother, Student, Lesbian Spouse of 10 years.
Dear Rev. Dr. Harley,
ReplyDeleteThis letter brought tears to my eyes. You articulated so well what Christ teaches us and why all of his children should be welcomed into your church and all of our churches. One of your parishioners shared it with us and she is very blessed to be a part of your church community and your caring leadership.
God Bless,
Are there any passages in the gospels where Jesus interacted with and affirmed LGBT people? Seems like those would be the best passages to defend this position to these database developers. What does the Bible say specifically about LGBT issues? It's our sole authority. Sola Scriptura!
ReplyDeleteAmen,Julie. Thank you for putting the distress ans sorrow if felt at the news that a company would do this to anyone into words. We are looking at a new data base. We certainly won't consider any of these companies. I hope they are able to see, to hear your words and reconsider their stand. Blessings, Rev. Catherine
ReplyDelete