Expectancy vs. Expectations

My spiritual director gave me a new framework for living in Advent.

I often think about expectations during the weeks before Christmas. Instead, she invited me to focus on expectancy. The words are similar. But the experiences are miles apart.

My usual expectations during Advent are: that I will complete a checklist of benevolent holiday activities, thus earning the gratitude of my loved ones, and further being rewarded with parties, concerts, gifts and loads of candy and cookies. Pretty terrible script, isn’t it? I could use a change of heart.

What would it look like if I tried to live with expectancy instead?

Expectancy begins with nothing. Expectancy starts with an uncluttered heart and a lack of expectations. Expectancy is about waiting for hopes, dreams and desires to be fulfilled . . . not all at once, but in God’s time . . . not through our own efforts, but through the movement of God in co-creation with humanity.

Expectancy is about being open to something new. Expectancy is not about looking for something outside of us to make us complete, but about waiting for One we cannot make arrive but whom we trust will appear.

“Keep awake, therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.” - Matthew 24:42

Expectancy is about being awake for the coming of the Lord, who will arrive at an unexpected time in an unexpected way. Advent lasts about four weeks on the calendar, but in fact Advent lasts a lifetime. It is our nature to wait in hope, at every stage in life.

Christmas is not a deadline, by which we have to complete our holiday checklist. Christmas is not the day when life suddenly becomes perfect and all our expectations are fulfilled. Christmas is the day the world will see that God is with us.

But if you live each day with expectancy, you realize that Christ could be born in every moment, in any moment. Make room.